For a living I help people get out of their own way. There is just one tiny problem with this. It can be hard for me to get out of my own way. Despite what my husband thinks, I think this means I am normal.
In a 24-month hot flash, we sent two kids away to college...far away from home. I have spent many a #carcryingsession reflecting on what kind of people raise kids who want to move far away from Mom and Dad and what kinds of Moms and Dads respond with oh that sucks for us, but please go and do you.
Or as Grandma Cahalan was famous for saying you gotta do what you gotta do and I will see you when I see you.
There are a lot of fancy ways of talking about life stages and human development, but I have labeled this parenting phase with young adult kids, as the boomerang heart phase.
Boomerangs are famous for being uniquely aerodynamic. If thrown properly, most return. But boomerangs, like these precious humans we raised, aren't all made the same.
Some boomerangs don't come back the way you thought they would.
Some boomerangs are finicky and need to be thrown a certain way to come back.
Some boomerangs aren't the same after being thrown and returned over and over again.
Boomerang throwers must practice their throwing technique.
I must train my boomerang heart for kids coming and going erratically.
I must train my boomerang heart for inconsistent but meaningful conversations and visits.
I must train my boomerang hear to move onwards with my own life, independent of these humans I adore and miss.
I must train my boomerang heart to love well and hard from afar.
Love, Be patient with yourself. You are in training. You don't get better at things without training. Do the work. Practice. Your heart will acclimate. XOXO.
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Hey Stacy, this one really resonated with me. I've thrown three boomerangs and did my share of carcrying. (Though there was less with #2 and still less with #3. It's sort of like how you clean a baby's pacifier when they drop it. With the first kid, the pacifier gets sterilized. Second kid's gets rinsed with hot water. Third kid's gets spit on and rubbed on your pants.)
Two of my boomerangs have returned. One is still sailing along out there. Maybe we'll see it again someday.
Keep up the good work!
Mike J. in PT